Latest letter from my penpal Oprah (with a few adjustments…)

Hello my friends,
Thank you for the kindest words I’ve ever heard. Well, apart from when you told me I was beautiful for the very first time, my dear Kimi. It’s so rewarding to hear how the show has impacted your life in profound and simple ways. And all I can say is that you have been my biggest inspiration. You really were the core of the Oprah Show and I thank you for that.
Thank you for your good wishes.
I’m bolstered and fueled by the energy of your every good thought. And thanks for the pics you sent to me – looking at your hot body really gets my engine going. You hunk are like fuel to me! Yes you are!
A week ago, I was saying good bye. I promise never to do that again. I have missed you tremendously. I have been slurping cocktails and smoking weed, all alone in my kitchen, thinking about you Kim. Missing you. Regretting saying good bye. Never again, I say. Never again!
Now finally away on vaca. Relaxing. Trying not to eat too much. Must look fresh for you, my hunky spunk. But had 2 slices of the best pizza ever in life today. WHITE TRUFFLE! Had to stop myself. Could have eaten the whole thin sliced, home made thing. But no food is better than your home cooked veggie food, Kimi! You are a king not only in the bedroom – but also in the kitchen! Keep cooking, boy! Keeeeep cookiiiiing!
Catching up on reading: UNBROKEN by Laura Hillenbrand
I know so many of you have read already. It’s as good as everybody says. 72 pgs. in, can’t put it down stop fingering myself. Yes, I have read your blog, Kim, from the very first post back in 2005 and I have enjoyed every single word you’ve written. You rock! You are a magician with your words! I have bought thousands of copies of your blog books and I like giving them to my friends. I’m sorry you never made it to my book club (SORRY!).
Will not be emailing or checking emails (but you can always give me a call – preferably on viber! Why waste cash that took ages to make?) on vaca but didn’t want you to miss SONS of PERDITION on OWN tomorrow nite. June 2. 9E
Fascinating doc worth your precious time. About the young boys forced to leave the polygamist camps to make room for the men to marry the young girls. I know you’ll never marry a girl, my darling Kim, and I salute you! Being a fag is fantastic! Faaaaantaaaaaastic! And thanks for getting it on with me every once in a while, despite the cold fact that you are a flamboyant homosexual.
I love a good documentary, like a good book. There should be a documentary about you, Kim. You are such an interesting person! Maybe we should make one and broadcast it on OWN. Let med get back to you on this matter.
Hope your summer’s off to a good start, no matter where you are. I guess you are busy renovating your cute little apartment. Can’t wait to come visit and I can’t wait to gossip on your blooming balcony. I love your neighborhood, Kimi!
My new ambition is to make a treasure of the small moments. Like when I wake up between you and your darling dog Sebastian. Jesus Christ, he is so cute! We should let our dogs play together more often! Yes we should!
All of your emails are mini treasures. As was that White Truffle pizza. But seeing you is a super huge mega treasure! You are my best friend. (Good bye Gayle! Finally got rid of that bitch, giving her her own show on my network.) (As I did with the horrible Dr. Phil. Jesus, can you imagine what it was like for me listening to his uuuuugly voice every week? My god, I said to my producer, let’s give him his own show so that I don’t have to listen to him no more.)

Dagens mail: Från Sydafrika

Halloj kimman, ville bara saga att jag har just plojt igenom nagra sidor pa din blog & njutit…. 🙂 Alskar att lasa dig! 🙂 Jag kan avsloja att jag brukar ”spara” mig & vanta cirka en vecka sa jag har mycket att lasa pa en gang & riktigt kan gotta mig 🙂
(…) Det jag ville saga va ju hur mycket jag ALSKARRRRRRRR att lasa kimman!
Puss pa dig & tack for allt du skriver! Loves it!
”Ulla-Britt”, Kapstaden, Sydafrika

”Ulla-Britt” läste om Ilan Halimis hemska öde och berättade i mailet om ett annat hemskt livsöde. Läs om Sandra Laing här.
Tack för fint mail – det värmer i hjärteroten!

Privat: Uppklädd till tänderna

Aha, ni vill att Dagens outfit gör comeback! Okej då. Idag, då det är -20 i huvudstaden, bär vi alla stickat. Förutom de gamla slitna blå jeansen (H&M) har jag mors stickade yllesockor, vantar, mössa samt överstora tröja på mig. Kängor: H&M. Glasögon: Prada. Telefon: iPhone.
Igår däremot, när jag och Sebbe hälsade på granngrabbarna, så klädde vi upp oss riktigt ordentligt. Det är sådant man gör under tradiga februaritisdagar. Plocka fram färggranna plagg, gräv lite i smyckeskrinet och dra på dig en ärtig peruk och dagen blir genast betydligt roligare.
purple dog
”Jag är inte helt övertygad.”
Så festliga är vi!